


Everybody Walk The Dinosaur

by Memories_of_the_Shadows



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Complete, Crack Treated Seriously, Dinosaurs, Drabble, Extinction, Gen, Headcanon, Humor, Planets, Reapers, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memories_of_the_Shadows/pseuds/Memories_of_the_Shadows
Summary: The Reapers have been doing this for a long time.  What are the chances they haven't been to Earth before?
Kudos: 2





	Everybody Walk The Dinosaur

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Walk The Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was).
> 
> I do not consent to my work being hosted on any unofficial apps, especially any with ad revenue and subscription services, or any website other than ao3 unless I personally cross-posted a work.

“Uh… huh….” Commander Shepard stares at the scanning image of the latest planet they’ve visited, Kelly’s not sure which one it is but she knows they’re in the Shrike Abyssal Nebula.

A quick glance at the readout gives her the name: Aphras in the Xe Cha system. EDI doesn’t seem to be picking up anything and yet the commander seems to just be staring at the planet. She’s not even sending out probes like she likes to do for extra resources. ‘Just in case,’ she always says. Kelly is just glad that Thane’s contacts helped increase the carrying load of the probes.

“Commander? Is everything alright?” she asks, because this is strange behaviour for the commander and Kelly really hopes that this isn’t just the first sign of a breakdown. She’s been doing so well, and they’re very close to being ready to go through the Omega 4 Relay. For the commander to break down now, just when things are starting to settle? It could be disastrous.

“Oh, Kelly, yes, um, everything is fine I just, uh, I think I need to get Mordin to look at something. This. Maybe.” The commander backs away from her command post slowly but instead of going to the labs she takes the elevator to her room and comes back a moment later carrying an antique book and a data-pad. The entire crew watches her run from the elevator to the lab.

“EDI, do you detect any anomalies on this planet?” Kelly asks, just to confirm.

“No, the Commander’s behaviour seems strange and without reason. Perhaps she sees something I do not.”

“Right,” she says, and sighs. Guess she’ll have to wait until the commander comes out of the labs.

It’s not long before Mordin follows the commander to the command deck--it’s extremely strange to see the salarian outside of his labs, it all just makes Kelly that much more curious--and he peers at the antique book, then at the planet map, and then back to the book.

“I see. No expert on geology. Edges similar. Depth correct. Very round. Unnatural. How long ago was event? Nevermind. Would like to study more. Perhaps consult T’Soni. Leading expert on pre-Prothean era. Will get back to you.” Mordin takes the book and goes back to the lab, nodding to himself and turning it around to look at the antique further. Commander Shepard scrolls her data-pad up and down nervously without reading it.

“Um, Commander?” Kelly bites her lip, but squares her shoulders and continues, “Commander, what is this all about?”

The commander flicks her eyes from Kelly to the map and back again. “Oh, well, do you see those craters right there?” She points and Kelly doesn’t even have to squint to see them but EDI still helpfully zooms in.

“Aphras is known for its craters, previously believed to be from a fragmenting asteroid, which caused a massive extinction level event from which the planet’s life has yet to recover. New studies believe that Aphras’ avian life may have been directly targeted,” EDI says, helpfully.

“I see them, but I’m not sure…” she trails off. There’s a lot about this that she’s not sure of.

Commander Shepard shrugs helplessly, running a hand over her hair. “Okay, so, Kelly, what do you know about the dinosaurs?”

**Author's Note:**

> So I was playing Mass Effect for the time because current events mean that I need to occupy my time and what better way to do that then learn how to play a game where you have to shoot things rather than hit them constantly with swords? Needless to say I love it.
> 
> But I was reading the flavor for the planets as I was stripping them of all resources and realized that Aphras' flavor text sounds an awful lot like the Reapers killed the inhabitants of that planet and left a crater strikingly similar to the asteroid crater that most scientists agree now killed the dinosaurs. And, well, the dinosaurs were around a hell of a lot longer than humans were. So... yeah. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> If you'd like, come visit me on [tumblr](https://sachinighte.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
